What a hideous day today will be. I can feel it in my bones and my snotted up nose and watery eyes. Not a cold, a tearful farewell. Mother arrived on Monday and admirably has held it all together whilst spending time with the boys. I have had to leave the room on occasion to give myself a slap and a mental "pull yourself together" lecture. As everyone else in the house lies sleeping I am awake and dreading these final hours together. Ive already had a sob on Garry's shoulder but hes had to go to work now. How I wish he was here to hold my hand.
I chickened out last night and came to bed early so I did not have to witness his goodbyes. This morning as I blew snot into his shoulder and my lip trembled he told me of Mum making him promise to take care of us. That finished me off.
She says she will try visit only its not so simple as they are disabled and on a low income. I will put what I can aside. I just know its going to be some time before we see each other again.
I have coped by submersing myself in organising this move and not actually thinking about it. Now there's nothing left to do, I am trying not to think about it. Saying goodbye though that will tear me in two.
TBC.....
PART 2
Its right when they say saying goodbye is the hardest part. I type this through tears. We held it together all morning by keeping busy. My house has never sparkled like this before. It was every bit as awful and gut wrenching as I had imagined and then some. My boys are breaking there hearts and I can't comfort them. I've tried but I cant even stem my own tears. Connor is laid with his head on my lap and I can feel his tears seeping through my trousers. Kieron held it together till we got in the house. Now he just wants to be on his own and cry. Tears are theraputic right?
Mum held me and sobbed and told me how proud she is. I love her all the more for not asking me to stay. She had a hard time accepting our decision so that means a lot, away now to hold my boys close and hopefully we will find comfort in each other
Just when you think it's safe to make plans...
12 years ago
1 comment:
Ohhhh sweetie, it must be so hard. I remember my uncle doing the same thing years ago - it was a neverending fortnight of goodbyes and tears.
BUT they settled wonderfully out there and everyone got used to them being on the end of a phone instead of around the corner.
Are your parents on the net? If they can be then that would make things so much easier for you all - you could have video chats and all sorts.
It will all be worth it once you're on that plane, honest. If Hulasula can get to Hawaii in one piece then I'm damn sure you can emigrate without a disaster!!!
Lotsa love,
Fenn xxxxx
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