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You know when you think every things going to be OK. Well its not. I am not in a happy place right now!
I last night curled up in bed thinking happy thoughts cos the husband would be home tomorrow. Only he screwed up in most spectacular fashion. At 2.30 am I was rudely awoken by my mobile. Check the bank account barked a pissed husband I think I have overspent. So I log in and check stuff thinking wtf have you dipped into the account for. He was given $300 for expenses. He also had $300 dollars of my money on him because we didn't know he got expenses upfront. He had taken $500 so that's $800 in total that he shouldn't have spent. Pissed up a fucking wall.
My sofa money gone. Children's uniform money gone. Gardeners wages gone. Pissed off does not even come close. I am livid. We now have hardly a bean to see us through till pay day. How can he be so irresponsible? Why do I have to sort out the mess. I will be the one who has to juggle things cancel things and generally go without. I was so cross last night especially since he kept phoning me been remorseful one moment and yelling at me the next. I even looked up where I would stand if we split with regards to my visa conditions. It could go one of 3 ways really. I would either have 2 weeks to leave the country. I could be granted residency as we have a child. He could take me to court and stop me leaving the country even if I wanted to as we have a child. OK so looking up that stuff was a major overreaction on my part. I know this. But god there is only so much I can take. I was in bits last night / this morning. Tearful panicky but the lovely ladies of my tinternet home sorted me out. Yes I'm cross but I'm no longer emotional. I love the man but right now I want to kick him in the teeth.
So I am missing the Husband. Quite a lot as it goes. Yes I gave him The I will miss you speech but I wasn't 100% sure I actually would. I had this lovely idea of lazy days with the kids eating lots of pasta and doing very little followed by a whole night diagonal across the bed. Reality is I do miss him an awful lot. I have no one to play with. No one to make me giggle. OK the kids play and make me laugh but its just not the same. G shares my twisted humour. Actually scratch that he knocks my twisted humour into a cocked hat!
I was up and tackling the garden at 9am. This consisted of moving all the fallen palm branches into a pile. Palm trees are a pita. I have grown to hate them. They shed entire branches that do not break easily. I also picked up fallen leaves and cut back a green thing that was encroaching onto the path. I pulled a few things that "may" have been weeds up. Its hard to do such things with just a pair of gardening gloves some kitchen scissors and a sweeping brush. Me thinks perhaps I need equipment. Ugh I don't want to be a gardener. Luckily my AWOL gardeners called they will be here on Tuesday. They forgot about me. I hope I get a discount after tackling it myself!
I have also been hasty. We still need a sofa. The one we did want will take 8 weeks from payment to arrive. Too long. So I found another shop and it has a very trendy 2 and 3 seater combo at a good IE we can afford it price. It is very nice to look at but I have a feeling its uncomfortable. Anyhow I also had a look on eBay. Ohhh I found my dream sofa. A corner suite only 1 year old and in a lovely plum colour too. Oh and it turns into a queen bed. It was lust at first sight. I have bidded on it. With no idea how I will get it if I win. Luckily It is after checking in the same state as me and in driving distance. I fear If I win I may have to grovel to the in laws.
In between all my activity this morning we sat on the deck for a bit. 10 whole minutes. Its too bloody hot. Or maybe its the humidity but I felt my insides cooking and have retreated back to my lovely air con side seat. I may just sit here till my husband returns.
I am alone. Well actually that is a lie. There is me and 4 small people. The Husband is working away. This means I am trapped in a strange country with no one to keep me amused. Get a grip I hear you shout. Well I did get a grip. At 2.30am convinced there was something out there. I got a grip of the rolling pin. I went outside took a few steps and then thought sod this I can't see the creepy crawlies! So I came back to bed armed and ready.
Today it is raining so we are house bound. Deep joy. My Gardener has still not shown up. I am almost tempted to do it myself. I need a hobby. However are hobbies not things boring people have? I have the attention span of your average nat. I could look into taking up riding again but what will I do with the children? Would I still have the knack or has mothering made me soft. Something I can do from home then. Remembering I am not creative. Well I am stumped. I can't cook, I can't draw and I can't escape these chains sorry children.
Today I lost 3 hours of my life. 3 long hours I cannot afford to lose at my age might I add. There's a lot you can do in 3 hours. A grocery shop a whole house blitz if that's your bag. Hell a concert a movie some morning delight. Alas I spent 3 long tedious hours trying to sort out family tax. Now I know they are incompetent monkey fuckers in the U.K. but ho hum I was armed with knowledge that this was the case. I expected it to be simpler here. Oh how I could laugh at myself. Nope my claim has cancelled. Why because the tax office insist I have the correct TFN but the centrelink people argue the computer says no. Still not sorted and unless they figure out the glitch will cancel again in 28 days. Then I had to phone CS and confirm I was who I said I was and then they could contact CL and do the same. Stressed? Oh there was smoke rising everywhere although that could of been the fact I burnt my precious raisin toast whilst arguing the toss with a voice on the end of a phone who couldn't give a monkeys if its there fault.
The afternoon improved. I went back to bed with my littlest man whilst the elder monsters watched a movie. Refreshed I rose to welcome home the bread winner from work. He is working away from tomorrow. The moneys good it earns him brownie points but I am still not impressed. At home. 4 days. 4 kids. Arrrgh. It didn't help when he told me Friday after work they are heading to the casino.
I buggered off into the garden to talk to Fletcher the frog mouth. The little bastard has shit under my tree! So I went for a bounce with the bub instead and he filled his nappy. I want my mum. Oh bugger shes miles away back in the U.K I shall have to find solice in a wine glass instead.
When its a tawny frog mouth apparently. It all started Saturday night. I had come upstairs for a glass of something white and got sidetracked by the mighty Bmc. As I went to head onto the deck and downstairs in the dark a pair of beady eyes blinked at me. I been the brave sole I am yelped. There on my patio furniture sat an owl. I hurried down and told my husband of my encounter who promptly took some photos of said owl who was now perched on my washing line. I named him hoots. Thought nothing more of it.
Sunday I'm in the garden and spot a dead branch hanging from my tallest palm I grab it and pull There is a mad flapping noise. Perched at top of said branch is the damn owl. Only its not an Owl my Internet tells me. It just looks like one and doesn't even hoot.
I have to change his name to Fletcher. Fletcher the tawny frog mouth. I spend the day taking pictures of him. He spends the day ignoring me or peering from one beady eye. Fletcher is my friend even if I don't think he is too keen on me!
The general consensus of the folks back home is I have now had my brain addled by the heat.....
I've had one of "those" weekends.
Friday: Its hot 41. Hubby is sent home from work as boss says its too hot to work. Neighbour Bob brings us a bowl of homegrown tomatoes. How nice to have good neighbours. Then other neighbour John invites us over to swim in pool. Kids have a ball I am one happy Mummy.
Saturday: I more or less wake up crying. I don't know quite whats wrong. Only that it seems like everything. The good people of POP do there best to make me feel better but the feeling wont pass. I make myself sick from worry and crying. Its hard been in a country and knowing no one. I feel isolated even though I love it. I sob virtually all day and am in no mood for planned party in the evening. However the show must go on. I had a blast. I adore B and his girl L friends of my husband. L makes me feel human again it was so good just to kick back and have a giggle. Stumble to bed at 3am feeling decidedly better.
Sunday.
Woken at 6 after 3 hours kip and snuggle on sofa with kids and DVDs all morning feeling tender. Neighbour John invites us round to pool again. We have a blast. The kids are getting more confident in the water and the bub loves it. I guess this is how its to be. Most days I will be fine then wham the distance hits home and knocks me for six.
Last week we had a day at the beach. Nothing unusual there its now a regular past time. This however was a bit different. Husband was armed with camcorder and English relatives in tow. Now firstly there are some rules to follow Beaches at midday when its 37 and school holidays is not a wise idea but try telling that to the rellies. Any how we jump on the train all 4 adults 6 kids 4 body boards 3 rucksacks one eskie one pushchair and a toy truck of us. We get there. It is packed. So we head for the toddler enclosure since we are unlucky enough to have one. Everyone peels off there clothes. Kids head straight for the toddler sea pool. The men follow. We women open the eskie and settle back to catch some rays.
Anyhow all is well. I try body boarding. It ends with me deciding its to much like hard work. I notice hubby is filming so decide to give folks back home a giggle. Board under arm I start a slow mo run through the surf with lots of hair tossing.... Hubby egging me on. Suddenly i notice giggling My boobs are flopping around and not encased in bikini top as one would hope. It would never happen to pammy!!!
Later when I am feeling brave and sure everyone who saw my white tits flopping all over the place is gone I venture back in the sea for a swim. I emerge like a drowned rat and realise i didn't bring a hairbrush. BUGGER!!!
The following day I need to visit a Dr and sort out my contraceptive jab. everyone is at work. The nearest Dr is in a suburb I have never been to a bus ride away. Feeling brave I grab all 4 kids dress em slap sunscreen on em and head for the bus. Easy as pie what was i worried about? See Dr am baby proofed. Miss bus there is not another for an hour!!! Ah its only 1km we can walk it. Only I am not great with my sense of direction and get us all lost down a back road with no people in sight. 2 ffing hours to get home ...... and I had not put any sunscreen on me so from white tits to burnt tits in one easy move¬
A little musing on our first Christmas down under is in order. Firstly it did not feel like christmas. Having a tree and decs up and blazing sunshine felt wrong on so many levels. Cards with snowmen and winter scenes just look bizare. Even visiting santa in his groto was a strange experiance. Poor old fella in his fat suit must be sweltering. Mind I guess this justifys the extortionate charge to see the man in red. Its danger money!
The kids however did not seem to mind. They got heaps of outdoor stuff for christmas and happily spent all day in the garden with it. Bonus! I spent all morning cooking a traditional christmas roast. The yorkshires where not the only thing baking. We sat down to eat and no one could manage it. My advice Aussie christmas and turkey dinners do not mix well. Next year we will throw something on the barbie and prehaps hit the beach in the arvo. Ohh look I sound like a local!
New year was a family bbq and I had a blast. These here Aussies sure know how to see in a brand new year! Seasons greetings one and all and heres to a prosperous 09!