5 Today

So my little boy is 5 today. Never has anyone been so excited about a birthday. He has been counting down for weeks. He got heaps of cool stuff. Smart clothes and trainers a ds and games. Jigsaw wall-e remote control, Dr who figures. Lovely to see him so pleased. Have to go choose a birthday cake soon. Here is the birthday boy



Also the 888 forms arrived from MIL. Yay!!!! Dh can get his Visa in new passport now and I can then get the application in. Wow. I am sick to the stomach thinking about it. Not second thoughts just am I doing the right thing nerves. God I cannot have second thoughts we have spent a fortune On this already what with passports police checks sunsuits for the boys a laptop.

Arrgh oh well its all worth it in the end I am sure!

I want to bury my head in the sand

Firstly the police check certificate is back. I am not a criminal. No crime lord has stolen my identity. I am not going to need the A team. So that means if I get my visa I will have to enter Australia by 17th June 09.

I am not feeling too chipper. In fact I could quite happily climb into bed and sob. I think its a combination of stuff. I am one of lifes worriers I could make it a national sport and win olympic gold.

I am worried about money which seems to have taken on a water like ability to flow away. We are dipping into our Aus fund. I am worried about Australia. Will I settle? Will I make friends? Will I cope with the heat, the spiders? Will we be able to afford to live comfortably with all the extra expenses.

I am worried about our upcoming trip to Scarborough. It feels like the final goodbye. It will quite possibly be the last time I see my grandparents and that breaks my heart. Probably made worse by my grans current frail state. I know she must be getting worse as mum has cancelled her visit. Who knows when I will next see my Mum my brother and sister, We wont be able to come back for quite some time there are too many of us and flights are so expensive.

I worry about dan at school what with his current problems there. hopefully they are under control but I still have a niggling worry.

I worry about my sister and her daughter. She doesnt seem to have taken to parenthood. She struggles. So my mum takes over. Nice. I call my sister the part time parent. Everyone bending over backwards to help and I cant help feeling she will never learn unless she is made to get on with it.

I am worn out to be frank. I have so much on my mind so much to organise. I never get a day off. I never get a chance to just be me. Sometimes I am not sure who "me" is anymore. I never get time out just to chill. Even when the kids are in bed stuff needs doing organising cleaning. I have not felt so lousy for a long time. Its like I am treading water how long can it continue before you just get too tierd and sink?

I know deep down the feeling will pass. I have a lot to be thankful for. So go on tell me to get a grip

Nuclear explosions Toxic spillages and so forth

So I stayed up past my bedtime last night. Cuddled on the sofa watching crappy tv. God I wish I had gone to bed early. Really struggled to wake up this morning. Went through to baby's room. It hit me. The pong. He however was oblivious sat in his cot gurgling and chewing his cuddly. I lift him up at arms length. Shit! Literally everywhere. A toxic leak a nuclear explosion call it what you will. It was bloody everywhere. First things first. A fishwife yell brings eldest son running to see what the commotion is about it. Even he blanched as he entered the room of doom. Open a window quick I mumble whilst trying not to breath.

How to get a shit covered vest off a wriggling child is one of life's great conundrums. Now I cannot employ hubby's method as I nearly combusted with outrage when I saw his answer a few weeks back. Hubby tackles this problem by snatching the scissors and cutting the baby out of his soiled garments.

I decide to mop up as much excess as possible with baby wipes. Then stretch the vest to its limits to take it off over the head. Result - a baby streaked in excrement from nappy to nose. A quick wipe of the really bad bits and a jog with smelly one at arms length to the bathroom. Shower on baby dangled in stream of water. Jobs a good un. Well apart from Stinky is now outraged and screaming loud enough to be heard in the southern hemisphere.

I bundle screaming baby in a towel and dry him all the time aware that its 7 am and the noise level is rising. I resort to bribery nappy on biscuit in mouth silence. I pay my 9 year old to strip the shitty cot whilst I go rouse the other boys.

Connor and Kieron have pillows over there heads. Connor mumbles about the noise but with the promise of jam on toast leaps from bed. Kieron however does not move. I prize the pillow off his head. Deathly white face peers back. Mummy I feel sick whimpers the bed ridden one. Oh bloody great I think. I have a meeting with the head teacher at 9 and a parent teacher conference at 9.20. I also have a mound of shitty bedding to sort out. My patience is wearing thin so I march out then back again with a bowl and a glass of water. If you vomit make sure you hit the bowl I mutter. Then I am attacked by guilt as a result of my appalling bedside manner so spend all of 20 seconds stroking his cheek and frantically mumbling soothing things.

Back to the stinky baby who left to his own devices has de nappied himself and weed on the kitchen floor. Dan my eldest takes charge and starts ordering Connor to get washed and dressed. He passes me the disinfectant and I stare in awe at him until he barks "the floor mum" onto the knees and a half hearted mop up. Get baby dressed in record time maybe he senses I am a women on the edge because he lays still and it all goes smoothly.

I am now sat here drinking the coffee my Boy made me. Its 8.20am I want to go back to bed.

Passports kid trouble and other musings

So firstly the passports arrived. Well all but hubbys renewel which is due today. So I get out the visa application to fill in passport numbers. I also put it all together with the evidencing. Discover we need certified copies. A quick post on PIO to discover what this is and how to get it. Phone round local solicitors. Am qouted between 5 and 25 quid a document! Some diffrence. Anyway am going down on Wednesday to get it done. Husband has got my police check thingy whatsit countersigned so that can go in the post today. Still no word from the MIL as to if she got our stat decs witnessed and posted. So thats the Aussie news. Oh and I have run out of ink again in the damn printer. What do I expect when I am forever printing stuff for this visa. More costs that I had not factored in.

Now onto the children. Eldest son is having troubles at school. Has been going on for ages which I guess explains his behaviour. We only found out third hand via a classmate. Sickening considering I have been asking his teacher for months. still I went in last week and had a good chat with the deputy who promised action.

Then last night I sent eldest to the shops for milk and bread with a tenner. What happened is still unclear as I have now heard 3 stories. The facts are one of 3 kids took the money off my son against his will. He then had to beg to get it back and was subjected to much teasing. He came home upset. I saw the kids outside my house and went to have a word. They did not deny it. Instead my sons old mate who is 9 and one of this group told me to F off and what the F was i going to fing do about it.....

I phoned the youth club the kids attend and asked them to deal with it. An hour later the girl from the group was at my door saying it wasnt R but her who had taken the money and she wasnt stealing it just playing. I don't know but if this is the case you would have thought r would have said so rather than swear and carry on. Also she was begging me not to speak to the school as she would get the blame..

I do not want to make things worse for D at school but I do want this sorting. Whatever the story I will not be spoken to like that by kids of 9. If my son used that language I would be mortified.

I refuse to let my bright little boy have his school life made a misery by these little monsters.

Playing catch up

So I thought we best do a quick catch up so my blog from here on makes sense.

Me and the husband got married in November 2007. Great day even if I was a nervous gibbering wreak. We had our first dance to the birdie song. We got together in 2005. have never looked back. He raises the older children as if they were his. He is daddy as the ex is noticable by his absence.

After the wedding Hubby started talking about taking me and the kids back to Aus. His reasoning was to raise them in an environment thats more family friendly and wil let the kids remain kids for longer.

I was very anti. I did not want to leave England. I would miss my family. I was scared it wouldn't be for me. I terrified of spiders I hate flying and am crap in excessive heat. We talked and talked and talked.

I really am not sure what changed. I guess I came to realise you only get one chance at life. That my home would be wherever the boys and hubby was.

So we did costings and research and decided it was possible. I broke the news to my mum whom shall we say took it badly and put the phone down on me. My gran however was fantastic. Without her backing I doubt I would have been able to do this. Mum is slowly getting used to the idea. I think.

So the first step was to sort out 6 passports. The kids and I all needed first passports. Hubby needed some details on his changed. So we had to get pictures done. To the magic booth. Me and hubby go first and pay good money for pictures that make us look like convicts. then the kids in age order. Have you ever tried those booths with small people? Balancing on a wobbly stool on their knees. Trying to keep heads straight eyes open. We took the baby to a photographer. eventually with a lighter wallet we returned home with our delightful photos. I am not vain but hell fire I have to show people this photo!!!

After weeks og nagging hubby finally got the forms counter signed by his boss. Off we sent them. Then i had to go for an interview last Thursday at the Elephant and castle office. Wow what a lovely place. I am sure I got my mothers DOB wrong. So am waiting anxiously to see what happens now.

As for the visa application. The forms are almost all filled in ready to go. We still need hubby to do his bit. Ex has signed consent forms but not given me a copy of his drivers lisence yet.He has promised to email me it today. Mother in law needs to return stat decs. She tells me she is visiting a jp today to get them signed. Husband has taken my police check stuff to get his boss to counter sign today. So next step once passports arrive send off police check and get hubby to go to Australia house for his residents certificate and to get his visa transfered to his new passport.

Then with a bit of luck the stuff we need from MIL and ex will be here. so I can go ahead book medicals and send in the damn form. My head is spinning.

Me myself and I

So this is my blog. A place for my ramblings. I am me. I am 29 a wife, mother, housekeeper, laundrette, chef, financial, manager, teacher, the list goes on. I like to read. I used to like to ride. I have a passion for music the good the bad and the downright awful. I am a northerner in London. Most of the time I am out of my depth. Welcome to the world of parenting!

There is my husband. He is 27. He works in the building trade. He is my scaffold the thing that holds me up. His outlets are he DJs and produces music. A noisy expensive hobby. He can have me in stiches with his warped sense of humour.

THE SMALL PEOPLE

There is eldest son. 9 going on 19. To give him a label "the bright one". He like many 9 year olds adores gaming with fifa and lego star wars been firm favourites. He is a sci fi nut and says he wants to be a time lord or jedi knight when he grows up. Who are we to disalussion him.

There is son number 2. Nearly 6. The "cheeky" one. He has a butter wouldnt melt face. DO NOT be fooled. He is cuddly and loving. He loves peter pan and the lion king. At one stage we had to call him Peter.

Son number 3. Nearly 5. Our little "tough nut". Very sure of himself. Wants to be just like daddy. Loves to dance. Has a lazy streak.

The baby. He is 1. He completes our little unit. Who knows what he will be. He crawls around at 100 miles an hour refuses to walk without holding on and has the entire family wrapped around his chubby fingers.